You were so happy bouncing around in my tummy for nine months that it took 40 hours and a team of 3 midwives, 2 nurses and 1 surgeon to bring you into this world that crisp autumn night.
We named you ‘Caden’ – spirit of the fighter. The perfect name for a little boy who shines with relentless determination. I love how you recently started questioning everything and I hope you never lose your sense of wonder. I hope your spirit stays indomitable. Always.
Right now your favourite things are singing, reading, strawberries, trains (with wooden tracks only), your friends Max + Issac, elevators (not surprising for a city kid growing up in a condo), the jungle gym (aka dada’s chest) and everything chocolate.
It took only 4 days to toilet train you… number one. And 10 gruelling months to nail down number two. Rejoice! Yes, we knew you could do it all along but you fought us. It was a control thing. You wanted to do it on your own terms and to show us who’s boss. But at the end you realized it really was a battle between Caden vs. himself.
And this is our first lesson, my son… in life YOU often are the barrier to greater things. Not other people. Not situations or circumstances. So don’t hold back that poop and never hold back on pursuing the things you are passionate about!
For now, everything I buy you is ‘so nice’. But one day you will grow out of the Adidas + preppy Baby Gap clothes and I’ll have to be ready to embrace whatever the coolest trend for Generation Alpha is… let’s just hope mohawks won’t make a comeback!
In the last few weeks you have come home from school with dust in your hair and shoes filled with sand, socks often missing. I ask you what happened and you tell me you don’t know. You sorta remind me of ‘Pig-Pen’ from the Peanuts but for you, it’s just another day of playing outside. What kids are supposed to do.
You have taught me to let go. Because otherwise, my OCD self would have chased you around with a Swiffer and immediately ushered you into the bath!
You are so innocent to the world and I wish I could preserve that. You can eat a whole cam-pee-camp (cantaloupe) if I gave you one. Bee-bee bug was one of your first words and you still call ladybugs that. You catch snowflakes on your tongue and want to ‘wipe winter off your face’. This week I lost my key and as I was frantically searching for them, you told me ‘you will go to the store to buy me a new one’.
If only it were that easy, my darling son. You too will lose things. And sometimes those things will be irreplaceable. The man you will become will cost you relationships, spaces and material things but choose him over everything. Be true to yourself. Always.
And when life gets cruel or throws you curve balls, remember it’s all in how you manage it. Choose to find the good in people.
I was recently filling out a school application and I had to think long and hard at how to answer the question ‘what do you most want for your child?’… I finally wrote down 2 things: I want to see you grow up confident and happy.
I don’t write you enough of these letters and I promise I will start doing it more. This is my third Mother’s Day and I am so grateful to be your Mother. Nothing in this world challenges me to laugh, cry and love harder than you. You are the son to my shine. xo.